Since I broke down last Friday, each day is a struggle, but I just stop now, when I feel myself falling again, breathe, just like during a panic attack, & say silently to myself, hang on, Kelley, hang on, everything will be ok. I spoke at length with hub (who's finally getting his stress test, & the dye in his arterys to map damage that needs repair) about the things I was going to change to try to help us get along better, & discussed only a couple things he could do to help. Most of our problems are caused by me, such as my voice. It's very low, & he gets very frustrated at not being able to hear me, so I told him I would start being sure he could hear me when I talked to him. That is a huge stress factor for him, that I can fix. Also, from now on, when he comes home from work, he simply gets his usual greeting, then takes his shower, & I don't discuss anything serious until he's had time to relax. I hope in making these changes, things will get better for us both,& hopefully stop as much bickering as possible. I also asked him to say yes, when I say his name, so I know he's heard me, & don't keep repeating his name, not knowing whether he heard me or not,he said he would do that. I'm sure there will be other things that will come up, but am hopeful that as they do we can make changes. This is over a 21 year marriage, & he's the kindest (if not the grouchiest, lol) man I've ever known, & I'd like to try to keep that "till death do us part" vow I took so very many years ago. Wish me luck in my endeavor to save this marriage if it's possible, & I believe it is. Love, QuellyQ